18 Weeks and Pudgy!

How far along? 18 weeks 3 days

Total Weight Gain: 5 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: eh, depends on the day...some days I’ll rock the belly band with the unbuttoned jeans look and other days, I let it all hang out with maternity pants that always seem to require me to hike them up throughout the day.

Stretch Marks: Nope

Sleep: Beautifully!  Loving the new mattress still and the two body pillows

Best moment of this week: Feeling the little one do a complete somersault in my belly followed by a quick poke!  It was a glorious and super special moment; felt a connection for sure! 

Miss Anything? Still missing the champagne, or a nice glass of white wine at the end of the day while grading papers...

Movement: Yes!!!  Not a whole lot, but when I’m sitting still or lying down I feel some bubbles for sure :)

Food Craving: Still sweets mainly; every morning starts out with a half bagel slice slathered in cream cheese and either raspberry or strawberry jam...deliciuos!

Anything making you queasy or sick? Eggs still.  I tried to have some today and after breakfast I recalled quite vividly why I haven’t wanted eggs...blech...gross...felt sick for the rest of the day :(

Gender Prediction: I’ve been thinking this whole time that it’s a girl, however this week I had a dream that a dear friend and co-worker of mine won the coveted teacher of the year honor and low and behold she did; right after that dream I had another one that we had a baby boy, so now I’m starting to think perhaps it is a boy?

Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: None to report.

Belly button in or out? In and I’m starting to see the pregnancy belly line...y’all know the one I mean :)

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!  Ready for two weeks of break! 

Looking forward to: Getting past the pudgy stage!  I look like I’ve eaten an extra box of donuts and not like a pregnant woman!  Ready to “pop” as they say.  I’m also excited to start putting together the nursery essentials over break!

Thought I'd leave you with a precious picture of our other "baby" Sofia; the dog that thinks she's a human!  I am currently typing lopsided as she pushes her head onto my lap.  I think she may know her mama is preggo, b/c she's been more clingy than every lately, and I love it!  

Look at that pitiful face!  Spoiled rotten she is!

16 Weeks and Almost Popped!

How far along? 16 weeks 4 days

Total Weight Gain: 4 lbs. but I feel like it should be 10+...I guess I shouldn't be complaining!  All in due time!

Maternity Clothes: yep and loving it- so comfortable!

Stretch Marks: Nope and I'm using this Josie Maran delicious smelling oil that my awesome sister-in-law gave me!  Love that stuff!

Sleep: Amazing!  Our brand new bed has arrived and I'm sleeping like a baby (with a baby hehe) I'm cocooned in between two body pillows and it's heaven!

Best moment of this week: Think I felt the little bean move- could quite possibly be me a figment of my imagination, but it definitely felt like something was rumbling in my belly :)

Miss Anything? Sushi!  Paul went to go eat sushi with some friends while I was on student council Christmas party duty and I was green with envy!

Movement: Once, but since then nothing- really hoping to start feeling some consistent somersaults 

Food Craving: Sweets, but only in the morning...cinnamon buns, raspberry jam on a slice of panetonne, fruit, yogurt...I digress

Anything making you queasy or sick? The thought of eating eggs in the morning is enough to make me gag :(

Gender Prediction: This week, girl.  I'm definitely growing wider rather than out and the sweets craving makes me wonder, but since we're not going to find out I'm content guessing!  

Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: Feeling like I'm being stretched from the inside, which is exactly what's happening, but I'm  more achy and my bum hip for sure is not happy with this child inside :)  Other than the usual minor aches, really can't complain!

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!  Christmas is right around the corner and I'm feeling very blessed and overjoyed to be given this gift of life inside that will soon be in our arms.  I can't even imagine what Mary felt when she knew she was carrying the savor of the world inside her.  I feel the Christmas spirit more this year than ever before.  Now if only the weather would cooperate and bring some snow; blast this balmy weather!

Looking forward to: Going to the doctor this week and having our second sonogram!  I cannot wait to see this little bugger's face on the tele!  Here's hoping Ben, our sonogram guy, won't slip up and show the sex (who am I kidding- I wouldn't be terribly heartbroken if we were to find out ;))

14 Weeks!

How far along? 14 weeks 4 days

Total Weight Gain: 2 lbs.

Maternity Clothes: funny story- so in the morning when I'm getting dressed, I can button up my pants and am good to go, but as the day wears on I'm more and more uncomfortable and have this bloated feeling, so long story short, yes- just starting to wear stretchy pants...

Stretch Marks: Nope

Sleep: This has been the trial of the past two weeks...I am a stomach sleeper by nature, however that's not really working out to well as of late.  At least one time per night for the past two weeks, I have gone into my crocodile like death roll and unfortunately take my husband down with one or two swift elbows to the jaw or head.  It has not been a pretty sight, so in an effort to take the UFC out of the bedroom, we have decided to get a king size mattress (angels are singing and the heavens are parting)!  ETA for this glorious new heaven-like addition to our family- sometime this week!  

Best moment of this week: Jackpot birdhouse finds at McKinney Trades Days this weekend (giant flea market).  Let the nursery obsession begin- who are we kidding- we're in at least stage 5 of nursery obsession! 

Miss Anything? This week- wine, cocktails, champagne.  I'm not a huge drinker, but with the friendly get togethers this past week, I've been longingly staring and drooling over friend's nectar of the gods **sigh**

Movement: nothing yet, hoping in the next couple of weeks.

Food Craving: I'm all over the map- red meat, candy, potato chips.  It's really putting a damper on my old wives tales, certainly no hints about the gender with those kind of cravings.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Not really

Gender: No idea

Labor Signs: Nope

Symptoms: None, in fact when I visited the doctor last week she asked me about my symptoms and I really didn't have any to report; she was floored and ensured me I was not in the statistical bell curve with that one.

Belly button in or out? In

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy!  Ready for the holidays this year more than ever!

Looking forward to: Getting past the pudgy stage...ready to start seeing this kid grow and feeling the kicks :)

From Right to Left: Jon and Emily Abbott's, Mom and Dad Abbott and lastly our own birdhouse to our sweet baby!

 My parents and brother and sister-in-law came in this past weekend for our early Thanksgiving celebration!  I loved, loved, loved seeing them and hanging out together.  While they were here I put them to work on making their mark, literally, on the nursery.  We're doing a rustic tree/bird theme and in my hunt for all things nursery, I stumbled across this amazing birdhouse kit!  They did a wonderful job putting their birdhouses together and putting their signature style on their respective house.  The last and most personal touch is their message to the baby on the bottom.  Our original thought was to pass these down to our kids and have them become an heirloom of sorts; hopefully our kids love that idea as much as we do!  Can't wait to start putting the room together to share with you all!

12 Weeks and The End of the First Trimester!

How far along? 12 weeks

Total weight gain: 1 lb...holding on for dear life!
Maternity clothes? nope, just unbuttoned jeans
Stretch marks? nope
Sleep: not as comfortable sleeping on my belly anymore, but training myself to sleep on my side is more difficult than anticipate...i see a body pillow in my near future
Best moment this week: getting past the first trimester! woo hoo!  now we're relatively safe to say we're in the safe zone (lots of safe there)
Miss Anything? fish!  fish and chips mmmm!!!
Movement: nothing yet, hoping in the next couple of weeks I'll get to experience the flutters! 
Food cravings: Still want fruit, but now also cheese mmm!
Anything making you queasy or sick: If I don't eat every hour I get way irritable and way nauseous!
Gender: ?
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: Feeling pretty good- a bit tired and bloated, but all in all, pretty good!
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: Had a roller coaster of emotions this week...watch out if I don't eat- it's not a pretty sight!
Looking forward to: Feeling some movement and going to our next doctor's appointment next week to hear the heartbeat again!

Surprise!

On September 5, 2012 I was making dinner and wondering why I had yet to receive my special monthly friend as she always shows up right on time.  Now mind you, I had just broken down in large crocodile tears in my OB/GYN's office not two weeks before as she sat there and proceeded to tell me that Paul and I might not be able to have kids.  We had been talking and budgeting for children for the past two years and this past summer was the golden opportunity to get this show on the road as they say.  Needless to say for various reasons, the odds were not in our favor.  We had begun to talk about perhaps looking into adoption down the road.  After that fateful doctor's appointment, I stopped charting, taking my temperature and more or less, I stopped expecting it to happen.  

Back to my dinner on the 5th.  I decided that perhaps I should take a pregnancy test just to be sure as.  Thinking the odds would not be very high, I went back to cooking and after dinner checked my little friend.  It.was.positive!  The first words out of my mouth verbatim were "Are you for real Jesus?"  Paul and I had been praying that whatever was meant to be would be and God was clearly sending us a loud LOL sign.  

I decided to tell Paul a couple of days later with a few more positive pregnancy tests under my belt.  Now all I had to do was christen our little chalkboard!  I told him that I thought there was a dead rat in the wall and could he come check it out. Now, knowing my dear husband he of course walked in the room, looked behind the door and proceeded to knock on the wall to locate the dead rodent completely missing the giant chalkboard sign below.

An so begins our journey!

How far along? 9 weeks

Total weight gain: 0 lbs. yea! 
Maternity clothes? nope, not yet
Stretch marks? none yet
Sleep: no problem, still able to sleep on my tummy and back! **sigh**
Best moment this week: going to the doctor to hear the little beans heartbeat 169 bpm!
Miss Anything? I never thought I would say this, but hotdogs!  I miss hotdogs, chili dogs, any form of deep fried delicious, buttered bun loving hot dogs!  
Movement: nothing yet :( 
Food cravings:  Fruit and ground beef, however not together!
Anything making you queasy or sick: not really
Gender: ?
Labor Signs: No
Symptoms: overall pretty good, nothing compared to week 5, 6, or 7 when I had consistent nausea.
Belly Button in or out? in
Wedding rings on or off? on
Happy or Moody most of the time: pretty happy, still a bit in shock that it's actually happening!
Looking forward to: getting past the first trimester, so we're in the safe zone!

The Long Road Home

I don't know if it's this warm weather or this song that tears me right back to late high school, early college.  I used to drive for hours with the windows rolled down through the country, ducking in and out of side roads, back alleys, parks, and vast open land.  Usually with a cigarette in hand, I was humming a song that renewed my perspective on life.  Music has a transforming quality that for me clears the hubbub and mass chaos that so frequently fogs up life; it slowly erases you.  Usually on afternoons away or nights on the road with long white and yellow lines stretched before me, music always brought me back to my center; I reconnected with myself.  Usually the Counting Crows, Dave Matthews, Patty Griffin, Martin Sexton were my sole companions as I let the fresh air seep into my soul and renew me from the outside in.  That unique feeling is very akin to a high that usually results from a substance entering your body, however for these many long drives it was a pure high- substance-less because manufactured substances can't hold a candle to music and the road.

The clear headed-ness that resulted from those many drives was almost always accompanied with this sense that the life in front of me very much mirrored the road in front of me in that my options were vast and choice didn't seem muddled.  I remember distinctly driving back from visiting Paul - the long 5 and 1/2 hours from Shreveport to Tulsa on a clear blue sky day- the kind of days that story books and fairy tales are made out of.  I was listening to the Counting Crows and it hit me like a rogue wave; the life laid out before me was limitless.  All of the dreams and secret wishes that everyone has, but aren't always spit out were there within arms reach and not, like I usually relegated myself to thinking, unattainable.  The freedom in that thought and overwhelming feeling of contentedness was so fragrant.

Now that some years have passed since the free willed, responsibility-less days of college I still maintain that those secret desires are still attainable, but as you grow into an adult and responsibility sucks you in and oppresses your free spirit you so easily displayed as a child, your own wishes become more easily brushed aside.

There are moments, albeit fewer, where I get the same rush that rushes through every pore of my being that this life is full of options.  Leaning against my back porch door as the rain comes pouring down on a young April day, or the sunrise that sprinkles light onto my favorite patch of farm land as I drive to work in the morning I am struck yet again.  In those cherished moments you are not boxed out and categorized, you are not slated to run out the same perfunctory tasks for the next 30 years, but instead your options are still vast and choices easy.  Typically, those moments come when I find myself taking a breath from life.  If only I could bottle the smell of the rain or the wind in my hair as I push the speed limits on a vehicle free highway in the middle of God's country.  But like I said, life is a journey...and the journey itself is home, so I'll keep on driving.